Yesterday I discussed, race, absolute truth, right & wrong etc. Before I go too far with this post I must just say that my absolute truth is that I am awesome. Everything I do is based on this unchangeable, undisputable, scientifically proven fact. Which is why when I meet people who don't like me I am genuinely surprised 'cause I mean who doesn't like awesome??
Seriously though, I haven't always held myself in high regard. People's opinions of me were too effective in shaping my opinion of myself. I'm shy, humble and unobtrusive; I'm also smart, quick-witted and unforgettable. No really. But to get to the wit and the unforgettableness Nat King Cole crooned about you have to forge a way through the shyness, it's not an easy road. So because I'm the type of person who uses silence where others prefer words people wrote me off as not awesome. Blasphemy I know.
As usual I digress, my point is that when I stopped focusing so much on what you thought of me I was able to love me more and bring forth the awesomeness I was stifling in order to fit perfectly into the boring mold cut out for me. Once I had that no one could tell me that just because I'd rather stay in than go out I'm not awesome, that because I'd rather read a book than go drinking I'm lame...some friends have tried but well funeral songs were sung soon after.
Yesterday a friend of mine posted a link on her Facebook page about Afrikaans author Annelie Botes who made this statement in an interview in response to the question "What don't you like?"
"I know my answer will shock some people but I don't like black people, I don't trust them. If they're hungry why don't they, like in the old days, break in, steal the fridge and not harm anyone. Why are they so angry? I'm sorry my neighbour was killed brutally and for what?"
I had to re-read this statement a few times before I realised that it wasn't anger or shame I was feeling, but I pitied her in the same way I pity my father who still has residual feelings towards ALL white people about Apartheid.
The way I began the post was actually so I could allude to it now. If I still allowed people's opinions of me to affect what I think of me I wouldn't be able to face all my white colleagues at work after reading that lady's thoughts, but she's just one woman, that's just one opinion. This doesn't mean I agree with her or condone her being that narrow-minded but my point is whatever she thinks is a burden on her. Someone somewhere sometime once said "it's not what you call me, it's what I answer to" and in case you missed the whole point of this post, I answer to awesome.
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