Textually challenged

Hi my name is Nono and I use Facebook and twitter ALOT. I've been an avid Facebooker since 2007 and the appeal it had for me was connecting with old friends and cementing relationships with current ones. However as with any well planned party a few gate-crashers managed to cheat the system and I was probably high off my growing popularity in my social media sphere, I began accepting people I didn't know, people I would never know. At first I used to make an effort to chat to my new digi-pals then I just lost interest, I'm very fickle (or whatever being a Gemini is about). So my friend count just kept increasing and all these people whose lives I had no interest in were appearing on my timeline talking about what they were planning on getting up to on a given day, or who they saw and what they thought about who they saw.

I then had a rare moment of clarity to reflect on the bizarreness of my relationship with all my social media non-friends and I went on a deleting spree. My finger is still a little crooked from all that clicking. Then I began working at Soul Magazine and I needed people to be the sources of my articles and because I now had no strange people on my friends list, only people I knew, people who wouldn't help me with a story if I begged, bribed or blackmailed. Then the vicious cycle of accepting people I don't personally know began again, but at least this time they were helpful. So I studied people's status updates and based on that decided who to approach for what.

I no longer have standards when it comes to accepting friends (on Facebook) but a few of my real-life friends put a bit of weight behind this statement, but still I love. But every social media slorebag has to suffer for her sins; show me a girl who hasn't had a relationship proposal from a stranger sent to their inbox and I'll show you ten who have! Just yesterday I received a "I wld love 2 date u" last week: "Gorgious how are you doing today?" err is that the same as gorgeous? Same week: "You have such a sexy bum wld luv to touch it" and so it goes. On the basis of these brave brave men not knowing how to write they fail, I assume their not knowing how to write is directly related to not knowing how to read because my profile clearly states that I am in a relationship.

I'm still debating whether or not to go on another deleting spree, but if I do who will be the willing guinea pigs for my journalistic escapades? I think until the time comes when my friends allow me to tell their stories, interesting alcohol-fuelled ones might I add I am resigned to a life of accepting friend requests and being textually harrased via inbox.