Death be not proud

My family received some sad news last week. But before I get to why the news was sad let me provide you with some background information.

I was raised by my aunt, she gave me the awkward "no you're not bleeding to death" "stay away from boys" talks. She taught me the importance of believing in God, of believing in myself, of always favouring humility over arrogance. She defined my perception of all that a woman should be. She led by example, if she'll lecture you about church she was probably in a pew, if she worried that I was watching too much TV, she was likely to be clutching a book, if she was telling me that every girl needs to be able to cook and have one meal as her signature she was probably sprinkling the finishing touches of pepper onto her roasted chicken. What a beautiful woman, what a strong woman, what an annointed woman.

When I was in matric in 2005 my aunt moved out of the house she had called home for 10 years to sow her "tame" oats. She got a job that didn't involve shaping me into a woman of substance, she enjoyed life on her own terms for the first time in a long time. Then last week her mother, my gran, passed away. When someone you love feels pain that same pain cuts you deep. The bottom fell out when she told me the news, more so because she was so strong and seemingly unmoved by it.

She possesses an inner strength that should be distributed to a crowd of people in equal doses, not for one woman to have all that. A few years ago her, her best friend and her best friends family were in a car accident and her best friend died in her hands, battered and bruised as she was her main focus was in protecting the children and not allowing them to think their mother had passed away while they themselves were so weak.

She's had to be so strong for everyone else all her life that tears look foreign on her beautiful face. But just this one time I'm sending a sincere prayer to God to let her cry, to bring her tears forth, to let her grieve, to let her fully experience how I imagine I'd feel if she left. Mother.