Dear Chubby Girl
This is not an apology
for being a natural size zero nor is it a way for me to gloat. I hope by the
end of this letter we can both agree that it is a message in solidarity, a
cheer for sorority, if you will.
I don’t know why I am
a ‘skinny girl’ but the last time anyone could call me chubby without being
accused of telling a lie was when I was two years old and rolling around on my
parents’ carpet, I really did roll – I was obese. The drastic weight loss may have
had something to do with the fact that when I was two months old my mother fell
pregnant with my forward as hell sister and there was no more breast milk for
me or it may be attributed to the fact that there are a lot of skinny elders
swimming around in my gene pool.
Contrary to vicious
belief I did not stop popping carrot sticks into my mouth to spew these
ramblings because, quite frankly, I hate salad. Except for chakalaka because
viva black people or something.
I have a small waist
so when my (mostly) imaginary boyfriend chooses to hold me he can encircle his
arms around me and I can wear shift dresses and not have them look like a badly
made freakum dress.
Before I get too far I
should declare that most of my friends are curvy girls, big girls, girls who
cuss me out every few days for daring to speak about my cellulite and stretch
marks, which granted can only be seen in harsh lighting. Earlier this week we
were preparing to go out for lunch and I suggested we have braaied meat, pap
and chakalaka, because viva black people. In my mind they exchanged a look that
said “LISTEN TO THIS COAT HANGER” and then they started speaking at once
telling me to shut up because I am skinny and apparently have no rights over
what I consume. Anyway the meat and pap won, because viva black people.
Sugar we both exist in
a society that pits us against each other, a society that revels in pointing
out our differences so we can feed into its ‘either or’ standard. You’ve seen
the magazines talking about “big is beautiful” or “men prefer curvy girls”, I
am sure you have also seen the skinny models who grace the covers and have
bought the myth that by virtue of being skinny you are beautiful but let me
break it down for you.
-
Big is
indeed beautiful, that’s why I love Navara’s, it’s a big powerful looking car
but it does not need me to validate it constantly as though it suffers from
small male genitalia inadequacies. It is beautiful just because it is, because
the one looking at it believes it to be so.
-
Maybe some
men do prefer curvy girls, by curvy I mean big, by big I mean fat. But where
then does that leave my exes? I don’t think I have ever dated anyone who is
superficial enough to date me just because I can wear skinny jeans and actually
look skinny. The guys who have fallen for you probably love that your smile
looks like a promise, a forever after. Me? They love me because I rap really
well along to Tupac and Notorious BIG playa.
-
Well the
‘skinny girls are beautiful or not insecure’ thing is a pack of lies, complete
with the joker. Have you seen me at dawn? Ask my sisters.
Granted we get away
with wearing more daring outfits and occasionally can wear leggings as pants
but this does not mean we are less worried about whether out butt has been
dissected into four or if wearing a crop top will reveal the belly we aren’t
too sure is criticised by mean fat girls. Because we know you exist and how
this letter will have most of you petitioning for the annihilation of petite
girls.
When I say “I am
naturally thin” it is not a sneer or a challenge to you but I just mean that I
do not consciously do anything to lose weight. And I hope that we can co-exist
and you will let me borrow your old t-shirts so I can have a makeshift night
dress. I’ll be fair and borrow you an old crop top because, you know, I’m well
aware of that sports bra struggle.
Bad jokes aside I
seriously do believe in the power of sorority and the potence of getting over
most things through dialogue and humour, so let’s discuss this at greater
length over a ‘viva black people’ meal, no?
Yours in solidarity
and sarcasm,
A skinny girl
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