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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

With love, from a skinny girl



Dear Chubby Girl

This is not an apology for being a natural size zero nor is it a way for me to gloat. I hope by the end of this letter we can both agree that it is a message in solidarity, a cheer for sorority, if you will.

I don’t know why I am a ‘skinny girl’ but the last time anyone could call me chubby without being accused of telling a lie was when I was two years old and rolling around on my parents’ carpet, I really did roll – I was obese. The drastic weight loss may have had something to do with the fact that when I was two months old my mother fell pregnant with my forward as hell sister and there was no more breast milk for me or it may be attributed to the fact that there are a lot of skinny elders swimming around in my gene pool.

Contrary to vicious belief I did not stop popping carrot sticks into my mouth to spew these ramblings because, quite frankly, I hate salad. Except for chakalaka because viva black people or something.
I have a small waist so when my (mostly) imaginary boyfriend chooses to hold me he can encircle his arms around me and I can wear shift dresses and not have them look like a badly made freakum dress.

Before I get too far I should declare that most of my friends are curvy girls, big girls, girls who cuss me out every few days for daring to speak about my cellulite and stretch marks, which granted can only be seen in harsh lighting. Earlier this week we were preparing to go out for lunch and I suggested we have braaied meat, pap and chakalaka, because viva black people. In my mind they exchanged a look that said “LISTEN TO THIS COAT HANGER” and then they started speaking at once telling me to shut up because I am skinny and apparently have no rights over what I consume. Anyway the meat and pap won, because viva black people.

Sugar we both exist in a society that pits us against each other, a society that revels in pointing out our differences so we can feed into its ‘either or’ standard. You’ve seen the magazines talking about “big is beautiful” or “men prefer curvy girls”, I am sure you have also seen the skinny models who grace the covers and have bought the myth that by virtue of being skinny you are beautiful but let me break it down for you.
-          Big is indeed beautiful, that’s why I love Navara’s, it’s a big powerful looking car but it does not need me to validate it constantly as though it suffers from small male genitalia inadequacies. It is beautiful just because it is, because the one looking at it believes it to be so.
-          Maybe some men do prefer curvy girls, by curvy I mean big, by big I mean fat. But where then does that leave my exes? I don’t think I have ever dated anyone who is superficial enough to date me just because I can wear skinny jeans and actually look skinny. The guys who have fallen for you probably love that your smile looks like a promise, a forever after. Me? They love me because I rap really well along to Tupac and Notorious BIG playa.
-          Well the ‘skinny girls are beautiful or not insecure’ thing is a pack of lies, complete with the joker. Have you seen me at dawn? Ask my sisters. 

Granted we get away with wearing more daring outfits and occasionally can wear leggings as pants but this does not mean we are less worried about whether out butt has been dissected into four or if wearing a crop top will reveal the belly we aren’t too sure is criticised by mean fat girls. Because we know you exist and how this letter will have most of you petitioning for the annihilation of petite girls.

When I say “I am naturally thin” it is not a sneer or a challenge to you but I just mean that I do not consciously do anything to lose weight. And I hope that we can co-exist and you will let me borrow your old t-shirts so I can have a makeshift night dress. I’ll be fair and borrow you an old crop top because, you know, I’m well aware of that sports bra struggle.

Bad jokes aside I seriously do believe in the power of sorority and the potence of getting over most things through dialogue and humour, so let’s discuss this at greater length over a ‘viva black people’ meal, no?

Yours in solidarity and sarcasm, 
A skinny girl

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