I have been hiding in the shadows of life, not intentionally but more out of necessity.
Do you know how tiring it is to be prayerful and powerful and still remain fearful. That has been me my darlings...
Let’s see I last updated about 9 months ago (maybe) I have fallen in love a few times since then. It has all been glorious and God-filled but it has not been permanent. I’m still searching for someone who will look at me and see that I need this sadness and melancholy that clings to my body, it’s not contagious though, just necessary to fuel my writing.
There’s this guy who holds my hand when we fall asleep and kisses my shoulder and neck and forhead and palm of my hand. I don’t think he knows how “welcome home” that feels, I’m scared to tell him because all my exes have treated me like train station not destination, what if he leaves. As you can see I absolutely have the potential to talk myself out of loving someone or them out of loving me, I am a strange woman. His name means Joy and I don’t even think he understands just how much of it he brings to me, seconds please.
My career has also taken shape, I am writing and if I could see my 8 year old self now I would shake that nerds hand and tell her never to curb her curiosity. God is indeed kind and merciful. We have lived, we have loved and damn it we have survived.
